Sealed Doorways
by Jak0TheShadows
Summary: [Hiatus] Years after the events at Whispering Rock. Raz became a fully fledged Psychonaut just like his dream. But eventually Rasputin faced someone that he couldn't beat. The doorway unlocked and Raz's reality was turned on it's head.
1. Obligatory Backstory

I do not own Psychonauts nor do I own Raz or any of the other characters who have insofar appeared.

Okay so I just beat the game a few days ago right and I'm sitting around my house with nothing to do when suddenly inspiration hits me like a bullet that just left the barrel of a shotgun. Which means that it inaccurately hit me in multiple places across my body and ripped large holes in said spots. This inspiration led me to fanfiction whereon I searched for Psychonaut fanfictions. I found very few. Very few. I mean seriously there are only like… 12 or something. THIS IS A GREAT GAME PEOPLE! A GREAT EFFING GAME! PLAY IT, BEAT IT, WRITE FANFICTION FOR IT! DO IT NOW!

Regardless… I decided to somewhat rectify this situation by writing a Psychonauts story of my own and so now I present to you; The prelude to Sealed Doorways.

* * *

Following the events of that summer Raz and Lily parted to go their separate paths. Lily to returned to the dull, monotonous life of school, and Raz went to further train his psychic abilities and go on exciting Psychonaut missions. The day they left each other's lives they promised that no matter what they would always see each other again at Whispering rock. Promises are always subject to slight changes however and when summer rolled around again Raz could only come for the first day before he was whisked away on another Psychonaut mission. The year after he only came for an hour. And by the time the two of them had reached sixteen years of age neither one came to Whispering Rock anymore. They were too old after all.

The very same year Raz turned sixteen he fought an enemy that he couldn't beat. Rasputin had very few flaws in his character. He was nice, generous, active, earthly… but he was also prideful. And alas it was this flaw that led to what happened. Rasputin's pride refused to let him run from the fight and, in so many words, Raz got his ass handed to him. Just before the enemy was about the kill him however a door unlocked in the young Psychonaut's brain. A door that should have remained shut forever.

The events that followed would reshape an entire nation and destroy the mind of a young boy. Raz went completely insane. He DID defeat his enemy but he also killed Sasha and Milla. The waves of his psychic aura radiated across the entire country and destroyed the landscape. Lakes and rivers dried up. Plants withered and died. Whole cities crumbled.

Raz spent a little over a year in a state of insanity before the door finally closed once more and order restored itself. Somewhat. Raz remembered everything he had done while he was insane so naturally he was not completely normal anymore. In addition he was now the most wanted criminal on the face of the planet.

With no idea of who to turn to he went to the only person he could face. Cruller.

* * *

There you have it. My Psychonauts story. I know, I know it's short. The next chapter will be longer I promise.

I hope you all enjoyed it, please review! I like getting reviews!


	2. Enter Cruller

YAY! My first Chapter One ever! First off I'd like to thank my reviewers, who I shall now reply to because I always wanted to do that in a story.

Starlight's Delight: Whoops, you caught me! It was a set up for events to come and fear not! More details on the brain shattering event shall be had in later chapters! (not so much this one though)

Lunar Lilly Muse: Why thank you! I feel loved! And I congratulate you on beating it two, and possibly more by now, times. It IS a wonderful game.

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Cruller's house was… different. It had no right angles what-so-ever and the array of colors would make a two year old that had just "learned" to paint cry. The door, in conjunction with the rest of the house, had no right angles and was instead on a 35 to 40 degree tilt. It was painted pink. Somehow Cruller had also managed to make the grass around his house appear a deep reddish-orange. Raz had actually seen this house once before when he had ventured inside Cruller's mind, but whether the house in Cruller's mind was based of the house in his reality or the house in his reality was based of the house in his mind would probably never be known except to Cruller himself. The wall upon which the previously mentioned entrance was located was olive green. Not a pretty olive green mind you. More of a "what came out of your mouth after eating Dad's meatloaf" green. Raz knocked on the door. 

No answer.

Raz knocked again. "Agent Cruller! It's me Raz! I... need help."

No answer.

"Agent Cruller, come on!" a third knock, "I know you're in there! You haven't left your house since Sasha and Milla have died." As soon as the words left his mouth he wished them back.

The door opened slowly and in the frame stood an old man hunched over, not from age, but from a large, glowing, purple rock strapped on his back. His head was even balder (side effect of walking around with a potentially radioactive rock locked on his back perhaps?) and there where a goodly more number of wrinkles on his face than seven years ago when Raz had first met him. There was no anger in the elderly man's eyes. Only sadness.

Cruller had never blamed Raz for what happened to Sasha and Milla. Nor did he blame the even worse events afterwards. Bringing up those two always brought a sad and distant look to him though. Without a word Cruller beckoned Raz in and quickly shut the door behind him. (Not before making sure there was no one watching of course.)

"Agent Cruller I have a problem," Raz began.

"Ford, Rasputin. It's Ford. You're eighteen and a Psychonaut, you can call me by my first name."

"I… I'm not a Psychonaut."

"BAH!" Ford slapped Raz across the face. Hard. "I thought I remember you promising that you'll never, EVER, become angsty and depressed on me."

Raz smiled and let out a chuckle that quickly escalated into a Hoo haa which in turn became a full blown ROTFLMAO (Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off) for the both of them.

"O… okay F… Fo, hee hee hee," Raz tried to say through tears of laughter. "I… I… HA HA HA!" He tried I noted right? Because he was failing miserably. The ROTFLMAOing lasted roughly a minute before either of them could speak once again.

"Okay Rasputin, I think I can breathe again. Go ahead," Ford got out… but only just.

"Sorry Ford I… needed to laugh I guess."

"Hey we all need to laugh Rasputin. It's unhealthy to hold it in you know!" It's important to note that Ford shook his finger menacingly at Raz right then and it is widely believed that, had Ford not done this, the world would might, possibly have been a much better place.

"Yeah I guess…" Raz's tone darkend, "But uh… I… don't know who I can turn to anymore."

"What's wrong?"

Raz ignored the question for now and continued ranting. "The only person I know for sure who doesn't hate me is you. But I'm not even sure about you! You… you could have been lying to me all year for all I know!"

"Rasputin I would never do tha-"

"I don't really care though… Just that you pretend to like me is enough."

"Rasputin I know that the last two years since you've regained your sanity have been hard but as long as you keep trying… Keeping pushing yourself you can-"

"Hard? HARD? Ford when I woke up from what was undeniably my worst nightmare ever only to find that it had all been real, only to find that I actually HAD killed two of my best friends, only to find that I actually HAD collapsed an entire city into the ocean, only to find that I actually HAD burned alive the entire population of a small country… Hard? Ford the only, ONLY, reason I haven't killed myself is because I despise suicide. I have nothing left to live for but I will not kill myself…"

"What about Lili?" Ford's sentence cut like a knife across Raz's consciousness. Wait no no… That's a bad analogy. Ford's sentence ripped a whole in the shield Raz had just built. Blegh. Still not good. Oh I got one! Ford's sentence could be much compared to Custer's last stand in that if Raz's mind was General Custer's army then Ford's sentence was all the Native Americans in the world surrounding Raz's mind and rushing down to shatter it into thousands upon thousands of pieces. Thusly, due to Raz's mind being shattered into thousands upon thousands of pieces, he had no response.

"You still haven't gone to see her have you?" Ford cut in again.

"I'm…" Raz stumbled for words, "terrified."

"Terrified?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I'm terrified of finding out that she hates me."

Ford eyes burrowed into Raz's consciousness. "Better to know whether she hates you than to hide."

"Maybe..." Raz shifted, "But that's not why I'm here. Ford I need help with this." He took out a small mental doorway. "I have a small problem with my mind."

The doorway was a faded blue color reminiscent of a circus wagon door. Ford picked it up and looked it over. "A mental doorway? For you?"

Raz nodded, "I just recently figured out how to make them. It's a pretty complicated process; I can see why you wouldn't tell me before." Raz rubbed his forearm unconsciously.

Ford Cruller's eyes looked ready to fall from his head. Few enough adults could ever bring themselves to create a mental doorway but for one as young as Raz to do so is unheard of. "I… I assume you want me to do something in your mind then correct?"

"Yes," Raz answered confidently.

"What pray tell?"

"I want you to open that door inside my mind again."

"WHAT!" Ford's eyes that had just been ready to fall from their sockets had now officially fallen. "You want me to OPEN the door that made you crazy?"

"Yes. I need that door opened so that I can destroy what's inside."

"I can't possibly do that. You told me what happened… I can't possibly make you go through that again. Nor can I put everyone else in danger." Ford was still very much shocked that Raz was even suggesting this.

"I know the risks… That's why I want you to meet me in the country I devastated. No one lives there anymore." The eighteen year old stood up and walked to a window in the crooked house. "I can still feel it Ford. I can still feel that insanity clawing at me. The door is closed but that doesn't completely stop it. Eventually I'll break again… Unless I destroy it. Meet me at Ground Zero (the site Raz had originally gone insane at) in July, please." Ford almost smiled as Raz gave that speech because he had just seen a brief flash of the old Raz. Maybe it WAS possible to help old Raz come back.

"I'll see you there," Ford said simply.

"Thanks." Raz left. Ford began to pack for his 5 week trip to Ground Zero with a newborn hope in his breast.

* * *

And now for notes on the chapter. You will notice that I have Raz actually create his own Mental Door. Well the way I see it is that Psychonauts are more than likely the only ones who could possibly make such a thing ne? Therefor I created an entire psychic/ceremony thing they have to go through in order to create one, more on it later. Before anyone asks, I realize that Humor and Angst do not seem like atypical genres that would go together however I've determined that I cannot write angst... I'm serious. I can make something sad but it quickly becomes laced with either humor or action or both. This story tends to lace humor in itself. Perhaps a little romance in later chapters though? Which reminds me that I fixed the spelling in Lili's name in this chaper. 

Once again, thank you for the reviews!


	3. Angry much?

Okay first off… I am SO sorry about the slow update. That was a combination of my laziness, senior project for school (BLARGH!), and Thanksgiving holiday. Next, my reviews!

Lunar Lilly Muse: Leave her alone Raz! Just because you went crazy in my story doesn't mean you can pick on my reviewers!

Starlight's Delight: Thank you so much and I shall keep going as long as I get reviews and think of stuff to write... shifty eyes

Lovava: Well at threat of foot chopping you inspired me to finish the chapter I had held in limbo. Huzzah for you! And more foot watching for me.

Now for a Lili chapter everybody…

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In terms of houses this one fell in the "well that's pretty cool come Christmas time but why do they refuse to take the lights down in July?" category. If you compared it to the ones around it though suddenly it became much better looking. It's not that the houses we falling apart or creepy from disuse. Quite the opposite in fact. Actually, the houses around here looked TOO pristine and opulent. Save the house that Lili was standing in front of which was beyond that. By which I mean, very rich looking.

The steps into the house reminded Lili of the back of a monster that had been in her nightmares for… a long time. She ignored them and walked up to the porch (still covered in Christmas lights) and knocked on the door. Dogen was just behind her shooting a death glare at a flower that must've been telling him to kill someone.

"Something wrong Dogen?" she asked, a smile belaying her slight exasperation.

"It… It's. It told me that I-" he shook his head, "But it lies. Yeah. It's a LIAR!"

Lili patted Dogen on the head and turned back to the door.

During that fateful summer she had met Raz, Lili had learned that Dogen had no parents and his aunt took care of him. She'd hated him though and treated poor Dogen like an animal (likely this is part of the reason for Dogen's strange behavior). Upon learning this Lili just could not let it stand and had taken Dogen with her back home. Once Lili turned eighteen however Dogen came with her as no one else in her house could stand him. At times even Lili could barely stand him.

But Dogen was like the little brother Lili had never had and she loved him. Like a brother you sick perverts! God!

Lili knocked again and she heard someone moving about inside. Hopefully coming to open the door.

"Dogen, could you go get my bag for me?" Lili asked over her shoulder. Dogen complied and went to fetch Lili's bag, currently located halfway down the street.

Lili had left it there on purpose though. She'd left it there so she could ask Dogen to go get it. She didn't want Dogen to see this.

The door cracked open and in the shadows behind the door Lili could just barely make out two small, slightly disfigured eyes, staring out at her. "Hello there Lili," said the man in the doorway.

"Hello Ban," she replied.

"I assume you're not here for tea?"

"You assume right."

"Damn… Do you think you could let me put some pants on?"

"Well, no. Can't risk you running off."

"Please? I'd rather not die in my underpants."

"Sorry Ban."

The silhouette shrugged and opened the door completely. Lili walked inside, a large psychokinetic, purple hand hovering behind her. The purple hand quietly closed the door as Lili and Ban, a man in his apparent forties, conversed. Ban was tallish but certainly not skinny which made staring at him in a white sleeping t-shirt and briefs all that more disturbing. Lili almost gagged when he walked towards the kitchen. "Do you mind if I ready some tea anyway?"

Lili shrugged, "If it'll make you feel better go ahead."

"Thanks," Ban trudged over to the kitchen and pulled the window separating the two rooms open. You know what I mean don't you? Those random windows they have in those 70's houses. The ones that lead from the kitchen to the living room. I mean seriously! Why have a window from the kitchen to the living room? Unless you have a maid or something… But the houses they put those window things in aren't made for people who have maids so it seems kind of useless. Ah but I digress…

So Ban opens up the window in the kitchen right? And as soon as he does Lili's psychokinetic hand grabs his head and crushes it to just within an inch of his life. Ban's still alive, barely, but he's fighting valiantly to correct that as he claws at his eyes and face in an attempt to end the pain he's feeling. Lili felt no pity for the traitor as he thrashed in the air (Lili's hand was holding him about a foot off the ground).

"Now Ban, answer me truthfully and I'll make it end quickly… Lie and I'll leave you like this to die like this, hours later from brain hemorrhaging. Not a nice way to go old 'friend'," she said contemptuously.

Ban's vocal cords still worked and he could still gasp out what was needed, "Whatever you want… I'll say it. Just please don't leave me like this!"

"Okay then," she lowered him to the ground and lessened his pain slightly, "Where is my dad?"

"He's…gone."

"Wrong answer," She squeezed the hand somewhat. Not enough to kill him but enough to worsen the pain.

Ban thrashed in agony, "HE'S DEAD!" the once high government official broke under torture and let out all his secrets. "he's dead… and so are the rest of the psychonauts."

"You liar. Even your contemptible country acknowledged the need of a universal psychic agency."

"We did, true. But we didn't kill him."

"Oh?" Lili said sarcastically, "Then who did?"

Ban laughed, "It's true we were going to kill him soon enough if you nosy daddy kept busing in on our business but luckily your father bit the bullet before we needed to do the job."

"What do you mean?"

"That psychopath Rasputin killed your pathetic daddy off when he blew up the Vatican you little bi-" and Ban's words cut off sharply when his vocal cords were severed by a blade of psychic..ishness.

Lili leaned real close to her prisoner and whispered in his ear. "I told you I'd kill you quickly if you told me what I wanted. Well I never promised that I would and you've managed to piss me off even more than I was. So now I'll make you regret ever mentioning anything you said and make you wish to the God you once believed in that I had just left and let you die of brain hemorrhaging."

Dogen was sitting on the porch of the house waiting with Lili's bag in his lap humming a jingle he'd heard on the television the other day. Lili had told him it was ripped off of a Queen song completely illegitimately and that whoever had made that commercial should burn in hell. But it was a catchy tune nonetheless.

Lili came out of the house and seemed in a bad mood so Dogen choose not to say anything and just follow her.

"We're going Dogen…"

"Ah, um… okay."

"We're going to Ground Zero, because I need to learn the truth and find out what I need too." Lili sometimes did this. She would talk to him as if he were responding to her and then when she answered herself it seemed more like she was rationalizing something in her own head rather than caring what Dogen thought about said idea. Dogen didn't really mind it just seemed kind of strange. Maybe Lili was a little crazy perhaps? Oh well. Off to the Vatican!

* * *

I know, it was dark. Sorry, it just sort of came out that way. I did try to not go TOO much into gore and violence. Did I succeed? 

Now some questions that may arise about the chapter: After much deliberation I have decided to place the setting for Psychonauts in our own reality. Also, that Queen song I was talking about that a commercial ripped off… Under Pressure. The same song Vanilla Ice ripped off. That guy should burn in hell too. Seeing that just made me incredibly mad as not only to I hate plagiarism but Queen is one of my favorite bands! The product it was advertising for? I don't know, I forget. Think it may have been a car or something.

So farewell everybody and see you next time! I'll try not to take so long again. Thanks for the reviews!


	4. Dead Emotions

Wahhh! I am a horrible person who deserves to be beaten by a rodeo clown. BAD BAD Jak! How dare you take so long updating! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! It was a joint attack from graduation project, back homework, and writer's block. All of which I am past… or at least ignoring. GET AWAY FROM ME YOU DAMN PROJECT! AWAY! ahem Sorry again.

Shadow She-Devil: Second best? WOW! That makes me feel ultra happy!

Noxin Rorepme: Been a long time gone Constantinople, why did Constantinople get the works? That's nobody's business but the Turks.

Starlight's Delight: I shall attempt to fine tune my fourth wall breaking.

Hyper monkey: Updated! see below for details

Lunar Lilly Muse: Stuck in Thorny Towers? I'm sorry I can't help… Every time I think of Thorny Towers my mind just keeps jumping back to the Milkman Conspiracy (the greatest level ever).

Well that's all of my reviewers! YAY! does happy dance Way more than I usually get! I feel so happy! THANK YOU ALL!

And now for the story…

* * *

The wagon hummed with an odd… humming sound. Kind of similar to when you go underwater and then pop back up with water in your ears and then when you get it out you have that annoying hum in your ears that won't go away. Yeah. Similar to that. 

"Hey Raz."

"Raz…"

"RAZ!"

Rasputin sat bolt upright in his bed that was not his bed. "What is it?" Rasputin asked irritated, not in the mood to talk.  
"Well I just happened to be walking by and-"

"Of course you were walking by you jerk. You live in my head!"

"Now, now. No need to be snappy my little thumbwallet. I just want to talk."

"Greeeat. Talk again…With one of the voices in my head. Yep, I'm not crazy."

"Oh stop it snugglepoof!" The figure standing in front of Raz was very tall. This is said loosely however because it wasn't actually tall but it was at the same time. To explain this would be very hard and normal human minds such as yours could probably not comprehend it anyway so let's just say that you can do these kind of things inside brains. "Rumroller, I think that we should chat about how you've been since we last saw each other. It's been so long!"

Raz, for the most part, was doing a very good job of keeping his hands clasped together rather than around the thing's throat. "Alright then, let's chat. As a personification of my hatred however I'm sure you already know everything that's happened to me since last."

"Well that's true honeysquirrel. But I'd still love to hear it from your own mouth!" then the tall yet not tall thing, which has now been identified as Hatred, clapped its hands together and jumped up and down. "Oh do tell me please!"

Rasputin lay back down on his MINDbed and turned his head to look at the creature. It didn't actually fit any of the stereotypes for a personification of hatred. First off it was happy and, Raz was almost positive of this, homosexual (or at the very least, the gayest straight thing on the planet). Mind you, how a gender neutral creature can be homosexual is quite confusing but somehow Hatred pulled it off. In addition to Hatred's personality it didn't look the part at all either. It looked very similar to a large, purple puppy dog that had run into a bunny and had become inexplicably fused to it. All of this in a ridiculously, "stab out the eyes" cute way.

So essentially it was completely impossible to take Hatred serious at all. "All right Hatred… What do you want to know about?"

Hatred thought for a moment and then did its clapping/jumping thing that just drove home its homosexuality. "Oo! Oo! I want you tell me about Lili!"

Raz sighed. Every single time he told stories to Hatred it wanted to know about Lili. Why Rasputin had no idea. So Raz began his story of how he had STILL not seen Lili for years just like the last five times Hatred had asked him.

Hatred enjoyed the story anyway.

After Rasputin had finished telling the story to Hatred the boy stepped off the bed. "Now it's my turn. Has anything changed since I've been away?"

Again the being thought for a moment and again it did the jump/clap thing. "There's been a murder!"

"WHAT!" this wasn't exactly what Raz had been expecting as a response. He'd more been expecting along the lines of 'Oh well the door's still closed but that thing is still banging on it. Guilt is still missing. And Love and Happiness have gotten married.' Okay he hadn't really been expecting the last on (Especially since happiness and love were both trapped behind the door). But he most certainly had not imagined this response. "You can kill an emotion?"

"OH heavens no! You can't kill an emotion silly!"

"Oh!" Raz settled down a little.

"You can only murder an emotion!"

Had Rasputin been sipping any sort of drink at that moment there would have been a very clichéd comedic scene right here. However, as he had not been doing anything of the sort, we are left only with a very clichéd jaw drop instead, courtesy of Raz.

"Wh- What! How is that any different at all?"

"How is what different?" the confused emotion asked kindly.

"How are killing and murder any different?"

"Well killing can include accidental deaths, which one cannot do, or suicide, which one also cannot do."

"But it also includes murder which means that by there having been a murder, someone was also killed."  
"Well yes, I understand where you're coming from sugarcake."

"So that would mean you can kill emotions!"

"No you can't! You can only murder them!"

"But… But logic would dictate that by being able to murder someone you would als-"

"Rasputin, excuse my saying this, but when has your head ever been logical?"

Unable to come up with a worthy counter-argument Raz yielded. "So who was… murdered then?"

Hatred's eyes shifted across the dusty wagon room and it leaned in close to the boy's ear. "It was-"

(Hee hee, YAY cliffhangers!)

SCENE CHANGE

"Lovely! Just lovely!" Lili pouted as her car began to sputter and die.

She got out and ran over to the engine. "No! No baby you can't die on me please! Please baby, I need you! Oh come on, I was only LOOKING at those Germans, I would never actually go for one of those gas eaters! It was a moment of weakness I'm sorry! You're the only one for me baby please!" and Lili fell to her knees and started crying on the hood of her accord. To anyone watching her it must have looked strange to see a purplish haired young adult saying these things to a car and crying. To anyone who knew Lili they wouldn't find it all that odd. Unfortunately the only person who really knew Lili was Dogen and Dogen well… He doesn't really find anything strange. Even squirrels that talk to him and exploding heads.

After Lili was finished crying and they had buried Randolf (Lili's car) the two young adventurers took to the road once more. Stopping every now and then when a car drove by to try and hitchhike but with little reward. "I guess we could levitate. It certainly would go faster. But psychics aren't in the most positive of lights right now…" Lili said to herself and then continued almost unconsciously, "No thanks to Raz." And thus Lili's frown became even more depressing.

Dogen, of course, didn't notice. He was busy attempting to shoo off a blade of grass trying to sell him a year subscription to Watering Monthly. "Stupid door to door salesmen… always trying to… stupid…" was all that Lili could make out from Dogen's mutterings.

"Dogen, let's stop here for the night okay? We'll just camp out," Lili smiled at Dogen and then muttered so he couldn't hear, "since we're completely broke."

The half-aware boy looked up at his 'sister' in a face that said, "I'm sorry, I was completely not paying attention to you."

Lili sighed. She seemed to be doing that a lot lately. "Dogen could you get out the tents?" and, surprisingly, Dogen did just that. And he set about putting them up too! Lili almost said good boy but caught herself (if she did the exact same thing she yelled at everyone else for how would that look?). But still she smiled in spite of herself. It WAS good to see Dogen doing things of his own accord. Usually you had to tell him to do anything, maybe he was getting better?

After Dogen and Lili finished setting up their tents, one for each of them, they said goodnight and ducked inside their respective tents. Dogen was out like a light. But Lili was out more like one of those lights that starts to dim a little tiny bit but not completely and you keep waiting for it to just blow out but it doesn't until that one moment when you look away and then you're all like, "Gawdammit! Iwantedtaseethelightesplode!" Or at least that's the closest analogy possible. Anyway, back to Lili…

So Lili, unlike Dogen, couldn't seem to find it in herself to fall asleep. It wasn't from fear of who could be out there of course. Because realistically, Lili could kick the ass of just about anybody who wanted to try and steal or rape or pillage from them. No it more a feeling of anxiousness. The source of the anxiousness was a mystery however to even Lili herself and she could only lay in her cot (yes she'd brought a cot along) and try to puzzle it out. Eventually though Lili's tiredness overcame her anxiousness and her eyes slowly closed. "Goodnight Rasp-" Lili began but never finished.

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And so endeth chapter 3 of "SEALED DOORWAYS" Tune in next time for 

The ship that sunk Or What not to do in a bear attack (note: these will not actually be the next chapter) Please R&R!


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